


Not Enough

by JehBeeEh



Series: Ahead by a Century [51]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, surrogacy talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JehBeeEh/pseuds/JehBeeEh
Summary: “Talk to me, please,” Steve asked Tony softly between kisses to his neck, his fingers inching under his shirt.Tony let out a long breath, letting his head drop against Steve’s shoulder. “I don't know if I can do this. I’m scared,” Tony finally admitted quietly.(Or: Tony has a moment of self-doubt about his parenting abilities)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Ahead by a Century [51]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514069
Comments: 22
Kudos: 142





	Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Home stretch for this one! :) Hope you enjoy it!!

Warm breath on the back of his neck was the first thing Steve registered as he slowly woke up. He tried not to move too much, wanting to let Tony sleep, but he soon felt lips against his skin and Tony's nose tracing up and down his skin a few times. He didn’t often get to be the small spoon given how perfectly Tony fit in his hold, but he didn’t hate the feeling one bit. He let himself enjoy the position, Tony letting his fingers drag languidly along Steve's arm pulling a soft smile on his lips. Had he managed to sleep in for the first time in weeks, he couldn’t help but wonder.

He rolled from his side to his stomach, stretching lazily as he did, and turning his head to look at Tony who snuggled right back against him once Steve had stopped moving.

“Morning,” Steve started curiously, placing a kiss to Tony's hair. “Wha's goin’ on?”

Tony just shook his head slightly and kissed Steve's shoulder. “Couldn't sleep.”

“You should have woken me up sooner, babe. Come ‘ere.” Steve turned again, this time on his other side, and held his arm open above Tony so his husband could snuggle closer.

Tony let himself but pulled against Steve, resting his cheek against his chest, listening to his heart for a few beats.

“Didn’t think you'd want a 3a.m. wake up,” Tony finally told him as he drew lazy shapes on Steve's torso.

“3a.m.? What?” Steve looked at the alarm clock on the night table on Tony's side and saw it was only 6a.m. so he hadn’t slept in after all. “Everything okay,” Steve asked his husband softly, carding his fingers through dark hair and pulling him a bit closer so he could kiss his forehead.

“Yeah, I think. Brain would just not shut off all of a sudden. I’ll jump in the shower while you go run,” Tony answered quietly, making no move to actually get out of bed as Steve's fingers kept massaging his scalp, his other hand rubbing his back idly.

“You should sleep, sweetheart. I can help you turn off your brain if you want. Or at least distract you enough so you can get more sleep.”

A sound half-way between a groan and laugh escaped Tony, making Steve smirk in his hair. “You just want some morning nookie,” Tony teased him before placing a kiss on his chest.

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” Steve admitted a bit sheepishly. “I don’t exactly get you awake this early often, do I? But I really do want you to get some sleep. And, if I can help with that… I’ll gladly sacrifice myself.”

Steve let his hands roam down Tony’s back, and down over the perfect curve of his bum, smiling to himself at the pleased sound his husband made.

“What do you say?” he asked, his voice low and filled with heat and want.

“Mmm… I do, I just don’t-“

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything at all, sweetheart. Lemme take care of you? Please?” Steve asked, his nose tracing Tony’s ear before he gently bit his earlobe and kissed along his jaw.

“Yeah. I want that, please.”

Steve gently rolled Tony onto his back before kissing him – morning breath be damned. He trailed kisses along his torso as Tony’s hands came up to his hair. He placed a few open-mouthed kisses along his thighs before looking up at his husband.

“Don’t worry, baby. I got you.”

***

Steve had finished a few laps in the pool, and letting himself float around for a bit, cooling down from his run, when he let himself in the bright kitchen of their Hamptons home. He was towelling off his hair, closing the sliding door behind him when he spotted Tony taking something out of the fridge.

“Have I mentioned I love this place? Cause I love this place. The pool is just…” he trailed off as he noticed the slight scowl on Tony’s face. “Babe? You okay?” he asked as he settled next to him against the counter.

“’m fine,” Tony snaped back as he threw his newly popped bread from the toaster on the counter, trying to get the last of the jam from the container Steve now recognized as what he’d pulled from the fridge.

“Wanna try again? Cause you were laughing and smiling when I came back from my run and suggested we go skinny dipping, and now you look like you want to murder that slice of bread.”

“You left a mess in the bathroom when you changed. I started a load of laundry and- your rolled-up underwear and socks do not wash well, okay! Plus, it’s kinda gross.”

Steve cocked his head to the side, biting his lip to try and contain the smile that he knew was playing at his lips. Tony fretting about household chores always meant something else was bothering him.

“I promise I’ll try my best to remember not to do that,” Steve answered, moving so he was behind Tony, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder. “I’d hate for tabloid headlines to read that you left me ‘cause of my dirty laundry. Literally.”

Tony snorted, Steve letting the smile pull at his lips now that he knew it couldn’t be too if Tony could laugh at his horrible joke.

“Talk to me, please,” Steve asked Tony softly between kisses to his neck, his fingers inching under his shirt.

Tony let out a long breath, letting his head drop against Steve’s shoulder. “I don't know if I can do this. I’m scared,” Tony finally admitted quietly.

“Oh, sweetheart. You should have woken me up if that’s what was keeping you awake,” Steve answered back. He straightened up and turned Tony on his arms so he could hug him properly. “Everything is set up right, you did a great job of that. And it’s Nat. We know she isn’t changing her mind, and she’s excited too. Tuesday morning, we sign everything then head to the clinic-"

“It's not that,” Tony cut him off so softly Steve almost missed it. They were both quiet for a time, Steve giving Tony’s mind space to organize his thoughts. He could only imagine all the things whirring a mile a minute in Tony’s brain.

Everything was set up and organized over the summer and they were now in the home stretch to finalize their plan to have Natasha become their surrogate. The final round of paperwork needed to be signed and then they were headed straight to the clinic for the start of their first round of IVF. Nat and Bucky were on board and excited, as were the rest of their friends. They had decided to take one last week of vacation before all the madness started, with today being the day they went back home to Brooklyn.

After the last round of surrogacy talks had led to misunderstandings and blow outs, they'd promised to talk it out – no matter what may be on their minds. Some conversations had been easier than others to initiate. So many _what ifs_ and _what do you thinks_ had been brought up the past week, but mostly, they were happy and excited about what was ahead. All around though, things had been good, and they’d managed to get through any doubts and questions fairly easily.

Tony rested his forehead against Steve’s shoulder, and Steve couldn’t resist carding his fingers through his hair and placing soft kisses where he could reach.

“What if I'm not a good dad?” Tony finally let the words out, like he was ashamed of voicing them aloud. “What if I’m not enough?”

Steve smiled sadly against Tony's hair, knowing exactly what his husband needed right now. He stretched a bit, reaching for his phone on the corner of the counter, where he’d left it before jumping in the pool, and opened it to his messaging app.

Tony moved to look at the reason for Steve’s shuffling, frowning up at him when he spotted the phone. “Um… you texting while I’m pouring my heart out to you isn't really fun, Steve,” Tony pouted.

Steve smiled and placed a kiss to his forehead, his eyes still on the phone. “Not texting, I promise. Just let me find- ah! Here it is.” He handed Tony his phone, telling him to scroll down and read through. He wrapped both arms around his husband’s shoulders, as he leaned his back against Steve’s chest. He watched as Tony took in the words Steve had frantically sent Bucky.

“This is from Wednesday night?” Tony asked, looking up quickly at him.

“Technically, Thursday morning, yeah.”

Tony read through Steve's panicked messages telling Bucky he didn’t think he could go through with any of it, knowing his own father figure had been less than stellar. Maybe it was genetic. How could he risk putting another human through this? The list of concerns kept up for a while before Bucky finally responded – no doubt woken up by the incessant buzzing of his phone.

“Why didn't you tell me about this?” Tony asked, not upset but obviously worried.

“Well, most of that was ‘cause I was over tired and slightly drunk from all that wine we had with dinner.” Steve smiled, remembering that night fondly. “We’ve talked about that stuff before, and I don’t think anyone hasn't had that thought before having kids – no matter what kind of parental figures they had. I’m not even sure why I texted Bucky about it, because I can say, without a doubt, I want to do this. I want us to have a bigger family. Have a mini-you running around.”

Tony kept reading, chuckling at Bucky giving Steve shit for waking him up and drunk texting him. And then reminding him that Steve would be a great dad if he already cared so much about a human that wasn’t even conceived yet. And ending with a line that made Tony's heart swell.

_The good news is, Tony's the other parent here. And we both know he was made to be a dad, Stevie. You guys will be great. And if you suck, at least Tony is still there._

Tony looked up at Steve, an expression he couldn’t quite make out on his face.

“We're not going to be perfect parents, no one is no matter how hard they try But, Bucky is right – and please don’t ever tell him I said that.” Steve started, twisting Tony around once again so he could look at him properly. He cupped his face in his hands gently. “The fact that we are both worried and thinking about this now… I have no doubt this kid will be loved and cared for to the best of our ability. And that is half the battle right there. We’ll figure the rest out as we go. There is no one I’d rather be doing this with than you, sweetheart.”

Tony reached up to kiss his husband, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I love you. I needed to hear that, thanks.”

“We’re in this together, the whole thing.”

“Have you ever wondered what we’ll do if we have a daughter?”

“That’s what auntie Nat and auntie Pepper are for. And YouTube to learn how to braid hair.” Steve kissed Tony’s forehead softly, while he laughed.

Tony looked up at his husband fondly, most of the stress from earlier seemingly gone. “We’ve got this, right?”

Steve brushed his lips against Tony’s, a slow, deliberate motion, before he spoke. “I’m just as scared as I was when we decided to do this months ago, and we sat in our baby’s room and talked about all this. But I have no doubt, we got this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, this is going to be fun, I think!!! :D
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed, updates should be a bit faster now.


End file.
